her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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