also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
