How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
