Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
