im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
