Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
