Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
