She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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