I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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