It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
