sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
