I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
