Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
