We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
