what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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