it was like eating out sand paper
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
