She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
