hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
