I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
