Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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