the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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