@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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