Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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