I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
