do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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