you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
