Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
