Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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