I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
