all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
