So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
