you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
