The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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