Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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