i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
