K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
