Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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