Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
