I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
