It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
