I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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