im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
