i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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