can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The adults are the big ones right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
