i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
