D3 body, D1 cock
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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