what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
