my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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