My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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