i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
