I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
