Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
