We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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