Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
