I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
