You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize