sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
