Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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