I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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