it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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