Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
