His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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