I just made out with a guy for $7.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
If I had your ass I would rule the world
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
