that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
