WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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