I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
