Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
