I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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