my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
