Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
