its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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