let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
