why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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